7 Signs You And Your Partner Are Codependent (And Why Thats a Bad Thing)

7 Signs You And Your Partner Are Codependent (And Why Thats a Bad Thing) A certain degree of dependency can be characteristic of an entirely healthy relationship its mutually beneficial to feel like you can rely on your mann an ihrer seite and vice versa. However, when the balance of needs shifts dramatically toward one freund, leaving the other feeling responsible for their loved ones mental and emotional stability, that can teeter a relationship into the problematic territory of codependency.Psychology Today defines codependency has when two people with dysfunctional personality traits become worse together. Enmeshment happens when clear boundaries about where you start and where your partner ends are not clearly defined. This dynamic generally involves one partner with problems that need addressing and another who functions as a support system, often to their own detriment. This inherent lack of evenly-shared power often results in anxiety for one or both partners, ultimately imp eding lasting happiness.If youre wondering whether you might be in a codependent relationship, read on for seven common signs of this situation, along with the tips youll need to change course.Signs of a Codependent Partnership1. You find yourself making major sacrifices for your partners sake with no perceivable benefit to you.Codependency frequently hinges on one partner serving as a point of focus for both the other partners activities and choices center around the wants and needs of the primary partner. If you regularly make sacrifices for your partners sake (providing financial assistance, serving as a constant shoulder to cry on, cancelling social plans of your own to be available to your partner at their convenience) without reciprocation, thats a strong indicator of a codependent dynamic.2. Youre often doing tasks for your partner that they should be doing for themselves.In codependent relationships, the primary partner often lacks the skills or the wherewithal to accomplish simple tasks for themselves, like scheduling appointments, preparing their own meals, or keeping their home in order. The secondary partner then picks up the slack, relieving the primary partner of self-responsibility and taking on that burden themselves.3. You cant find satisfaction in pursuits or situations that dont involve your partner.When your identity becomes completely and inextricably linked with that of your partner and your relationship, it can be difficult (if not impossible) to discover joy and satisfaction in activities that dont involve your partner. While individuals in healthy relationships can engage in hobbies and social gatherings on a separate basis, codependent couples choose instead to eliminate friendships and pursuits that take them away from their partner, even temporarily.4. You constantly make excuses for your partners questionable behavior.Even if a member of a codependent relationship knows that their partner behaves in an objectionable manner, they of ten feel the need to make excuses or offer up justifications for these actions. They may blame circumstances or they may place responsibility on their partners mental health, but theyll do whatever they can to absolve their loved one.5. You know that your partner is emotionally manipulating you... and you allow it to continue.People in codependent relationships arent stupid or naive. Theyre often aware of the manipulative nature of their connection to their partner, but because the codependent dynamic also serves their own needs (the need to be needed, the need to help), theyll make themselves available and receptive to said manipulations.6. You go to extreme lengths to avoid arguments with your partner.Because those in codependent relationships literally build their entire worlds around each other, theyll go to remarkable extents to keep arguments to an absolute minimum, even if that means keeping emotions bottled up and refusing to openly discuss concerns or disagreements.7. Youre constantly looking for ways to fix your partner.If youre the secondary partner in a codependent relationship, you may think its your job to fix whatevers plaguing your primary partner. If they have emotional challenges or issues related to their past, youll try to rectify the problem and will ultimately blame yourself if youre unsuccessful.How To Break The Pattern1. Surround yourself with friends and family who support you and bolster your self-esteem.Because codependent relationships often occur when the secondary partner doesnt have high self-esteem, its important to surround yourself with people who love you and who are willing and able to provide emotional fortification. Rather than distancing yourself from your friends and family (as frequently happens in codependent situations), try to reestablish those relationships as much as possible.2. Seek out a therapist who treats anxiety and intimacy challenges.Therapists can offer useful, actionable, and impartial advice to anyone se eking a way out of a codependent relationship. Research practitioners in your area and find a therapist who specializes in codependency and anxiety.3. Practice setting boundaries in all aspects of your life.Codependency involves a lack of boundaries the primary partner tries to push the secondary partner into certain habits and behaviors, and the secondary partner doesnt establish limitations. If this sounds familiar, it can be helpful to practice boundary-setting in general. For instance, if your anfhrer tries to overload you with assignments, feel free to ask her for some help or flexibility. Once respectful boundaries become a regular part of your routine, it can become easier to apply those standards to your next relationship.--